On the subject of faith, love, lust and violence...

Confessions of a Virgin Mistress

This blog is...

mARTurbation: art meant to please myself, as well as essays, articles, rants, raves and opinions on pop culture, sexuality, women, power, education, religion, music, films and products. No subject is taboo, no discussion forbidden.

Reading Guide:

Thoughts, Essays, Opinions and Articles have unique names and are stand-alone, even when related to previous entries. The dream chapters however, where I talk about my dreams, are titled “At The Dreams: “Insert Dream Title Here”, this is to differentiate conscious opinions and thoughts, from the subconscious movements that go on when I’m asleep (or somewhere in between). The reason I post my dreams is probably the same reason I post all other entries, to examine myself. I’m my own lab experiment. 

At The Dreams: Visions, Contact, Cat-people and the Black Bird

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 by Mistress Cavallaro

Something pulled me out of my body. Drew me all the way up several times, and at one point I started calling out a man’s name. I never quite got to see him or feel him near, instead, whatever was pulling me just pulled me up even more violently towards the sky and again, the sound of a strange buzzing but this one not as strong as the one before. I've only heard a buzz when I'm out of my body twice so far.

However, when I came back into my bed, there was another smaller bed next to mine with a little blonde girl that I recognized from former dreams. (The former dream was about a house where this girl lived with her brothers and would terrorize all their caretakers into dying. They’d start by placing a hanging dead man on the road to their home, because the road had no lights, you’d spot the man only when you were near enough to light him with the frontal lights of the car; this would usually make their victim swerve and hit something. If that didn’t work, the little girl herself would stand on the road. She had long blonde hair and an extremely pale complexion. In that dream, I’d come to work as their nanny, and after many frights, finally got them to calm down and behave like normal human beings. That didn’t stop their house from being frightening, since it was still far into the woods and there was never any light at night) The reason this is relevant to this particular experience, is that I had barely a few seconds to recognize this little girl from said former dream (even though technically I don’t even remember having that dream) and then she woke up as I was struggling to get back into my body and gave me some interesting insight. “You know the lady?”

I think she was referring to whatever was pulling me, because I tried seeing it or talking to it several times but failed. “Can you see her?” I was alarmed, because this girl could see who was pulling me and now I knew it was supposed to be a woman.

“Do you know how she feels about you?”

And I wasn’t sure what that meant. For some reason I wasn’t ready to understand so she said, “It’s ok, we’ll talk about this some other time” and that’s when I finally took hold of my body and woke up in my room, without any apparitions. I blinked my eyes open, and my heart was racing beyond belief.


It was almost five in the morning and I was freaked. I also thought immediately about the cards a friend of mine had brought up that night while she was drunk. About a feminine entity and again the color “green”.  Who’s this entity, apparently female? I don’t even know if it’s the same entity that tried to contact me before. (When I first heard the buzzing noise)  And what did the girl mean with “do you know how she feels about you?”


Very confusing.


Finally I went to sleep and had an entirely different dream. Or rather, the first  dream, since the prior one felt more like a vision than a dream. In this new dream I lived in a manor where I think I was just a temporary guest. At the manor there was this man whom I was seeing, and when he left every day to work I’d go with the mistress of the house into the bushes nearby to find a small litter of puppies that we were secretly caring for. I bonded with one of them right away and offered to take care of it, but it was complicated. The man I was seeing had followed us into the brush, half-expecting I think, to find me in some lurid affair and instead was relieved when he saw that the big “secret” were the puppies. That didn’t change the fact that we couldn’t keep the puppies.


The dream ended when we were trying to place them somewhere, or find them a home or still discussing what we’d do with them.


It switched to another universe, a universe I thought I was also familiar with, in fact, practically every element in this dream was familiar save for the new addition of Gale Harold to the cast. (Which I do blame on the fact that I've been watching Queer As Folk non-stop this past month) It was like a movie, and an adaptation from a cartoon all at once.


The main character was a blonde socialite woman, who’d been living in this neighborhood for a while, always pairing people up. She’d had a few romances but nothing lasting and all the men were gracious to her. The place was a sort of magical world, because men and women could transform into things or call upon beasts or elements and such. A new man arrived in town, (Gale) and he would transform into a cat woman every time he had was hit. Meaning, when the woman slapped him for being a rude bastard, he’d turn into a cat woman, and not just that, but as a cat woman, he’d stick around to defend or accompany the blonde lady. Clearly it was some sort of tension thing, romance novel style, where they would attend events (like an old friend of them singing Frank Sinatra karaoke <- a scene I’ve seen before, and while the man sang very well, Gale’s character walked right in front of him to leave) this pissed of the blonde lady who clearly followed Gale’s every single move even though all they seemed to do was argue. Then I found them making out near the stairway. Then making out both of them turned into cat people.


When she spoke to a friend of hers who wanted to know what was up and why she kept chasing him she said “something is happening between us almost, last night we kissed”.


Then came a strange incident. They were in the forest, because she wanted to get pregnant and so she drew up a tent, and the first man that lit a candle for her would be the father of her children. However, a group of mountain men came and surrounded the area right after Gale’s character had left in anger. They were clearly about to “eat” her when another man showed up, this one, showcasing the same abilities as a jedi, using mind control to make them fall on the ground or turn and dance. He was after “the black bird” who was none other than a scientist in the top building near the woman’s estate, brewing some deadly concoction to kill them all. The man had escaped from jail, I also think the man was her brother or some family. 

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