On the subject of faith, love, lust and violence...

Confessions of a Virgin Mistress

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mARTurbation: art meant to please myself, as well as essays, articles, rants, raves and opinions on pop culture, sexuality, women, power, education, religion, music, films and products. No subject is taboo, no discussion forbidden.

Reading Guide:

Thoughts, Essays, Opinions and Articles have unique names and are stand-alone, even when related to previous entries. The dream chapters however, where I talk about my dreams, are titled “At The Dreams: “Insert Dream Title Here”, this is to differentiate conscious opinions and thoughts, from the subconscious movements that go on when I’m asleep (or somewhere in between). The reason I post my dreams is probably the same reason I post all other entries, to examine myself. I’m my own lab experiment. 

At The Dreams: The Discarded Animal Store for Swimming

Saturday, March 8, 2008 by Mistress Cavallaro

We arrived at a winter wonderland and five scenes caught my attention:
The Redhead
The Naked Breasts
The Ships in the Spiritual Retreat
The Penguin Man, Alien, Ex-Boyfriend and Old School Friend
The Discarded Animal Store for Swimming
It was supposed to be some sort of adventure of a lifetime, where you built a personal ark to swim through a dangerous channel of water inside a spiritual retreat.

I arrived first, and the first exposition was a redhead dressed in a wedding gown. She took off her clothes piece by piece and began to glow. She was meant to stay posing naked, lying on her side in the freezing cold. I was really excited because she looked like Elizabeth and was very beautiful. But suddenly everyone around me was naked, including myself, or I think I got naked, then I realized I didn’t want anybody to see me so I covered my breasts and went to my retreat to get something to cover me.

On my way there I encounter My lover who spends most of her time trying to wrestle me to see them, but I want to get away because I want her to see the redhead, she however doesn’t consider it important or cares, the only thing she’s interested in, is seeing me naked so we wrestle some more in the middle of the snow. All the parents are up on the valley in a gazebo chatting away. I finally throw her back at one point and explain how I’m interested in other things, things that she never seems to want to integrate herself to and that don’t matter to her but matter to me, things that excite me and I want to accomplish and fulfill. Like building the ark to travel the channel within the spiritual retreat. Where I see ships trying to go in and not being able to swim across, it’s quite a challenge.

She agrees to go with me to the retreat, because near the main hall they have an exhibit of large feral animals that I want to see. While we’re walking down the hallway her ex-boyfriend shows up trying to romance her yet again and I speed ahead because I don’t have time for this. I find the penguin lair and talk a bit with the strange animals, then I head towards a classroom where everyone else is sitting. This is the workshop where they’ll teach us how to build ships. I’m laughing because I just saw something very few people saw, and I’m mad because My lover fell behind while she was talking with her ex and didn’t even see me veer off the path into something else, something undiscovered. So when I turn around to try and tell her, her ex-boyfriend steals her ear and is trying to say stuff to her and I say it again “I really don’t have time for this”, so she pushes him back and stands in front of me where I’m about to inform her of my discovery. However, before I get to say anything, someone grabs us both and starts swaying us from side to side dancing. I turn around and it’s and old friend from school, who’s also in the workshop. After talking for a little bit about our schedules and then me spotting My lover’s ex on her ear again and telling them both, that if they’re going to be friends, either they learn to speak around me or just don’t hang around me. In the end I just decide I don’t want to be around them. I go to sit in the front where there’s a free chair, with a camera and a bag. I know someone else is sitting there, but I take it anyway. I’m very rebellious and I go: “Who sits here?” “Well…” says the guy in front of me, and I finish up saying “Nobody of course” and taking the camera and things off the chair, staring at this one guy that I recognized who was looking at me. Those were his things and for some reason, my saying that, kept him away and made him sit in another chair. The guy was Kurt Cobain.

Later in the workshop I see a bunch of people swimming with just about any animal they can get to cross the grand canal. I see a man with a little tiger or lion that jumps up from the water and growls at him, clearly it’s a mammal and it can’t breathe. I see a nun holding something between her legs, then whimpering, pulling it up from under her and revealing just the skeleton of whatever was carrying her. Then I see a store called the Discarded Wounded Animals. It’s a bunch of small little boxes containing animals you can purchase to travel the grand canal, that others have used and wrecked slightly but are still alive and in a condition to swim. I only grimace at all this and then see a summary of how I embark on this trip. I build, inside a glacier-like cove, a huge wooden ship, in the shape of a seed and with it I manage to travel both outside and underwater through the grand canal, it’s such a powerful ship and the design makes sure that no water gets in, because it looks like a giant almond. The mechanism goes, that we allow water in the bottom to make it sink, then release the water to make it float back up, we do this through the tiered waterways in the large ornate temple.

I woke up because my cell phone rang. It was PRIVATE. I decide to check my e-mail and I’ve received an animal horoscope with me being the Snake. I recall I saw a snake slithering somewhere in my dream.

>> Las serpientes aman el lujo y el confort, la elegancia y el
>> refinamiento. Tienen un buen gusto innato, que traen desde la cuna,
>> saben como vestir, como comportarse, como moverse al caminar. Trabaja duro para hacerse una carrera, a veces tienen fama de trepadora, y es que va ganado espacio lentamente, casi sin que te des cuenta. Su veneno es letal, y si la provocas no dudara en usarlo para matarte. Por eso es mejor tenerla de amiga y no de enemigo. En el fondo, la serpiente es una romántica total, pero como es justamente tan sensible es que se pone a la defensiva. Si logras tocar su corazón, contaras con una amiga para toda la vida.
>> MUJER SERPIENTE La mujer serpiente es una sibarita. Tiene alma de reina y si no nació en una familia de dinero busca tenerlo. Como es muy independiente, algunas mujeres serpientes se convierten en grandes empresarias, compiten con los hombre y logran superarlos. En el amor es apasionada y fatal. Será exigente con su pareja y le impondrá pruebas para que constantemente demuestre que merece estar a su lado. Como es una romántica tendrá amores imposibles de esos que nunca olvidara.
>> EN EL AMOR Y LA AMISTAD Como dijimos, es fácil enamorar una serpiente, pero de allí a atraparla hay una distancia muy grande. Muchas son las cualidades que se deben poseer para que una persona de este signo del 'si' para toda la vida. Los Venados los seducen con su paz, una mercadería que la serpiente no siempre puede conseguir. Los gorilas le proporcionan alegría y ganas de vivir. Con ellos podrá recorrer el mundo y compartir mil y una aventuras.

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